It's been a long time since I put anything new in this section. So, here it is, a list of crap I couldn't tolerate even if I were able to magically transform them all into a scantily clad Halle Berry:

• When movies are described in trailers as being "a tour de force" or "[lame movie] meets [lame movie]".
• These assholes in the huge pickup trucks and SUV's who insist on not paying attention to the road.
• Similar assholes whose vehicles were paid for by Daddy's mistress/secretary who choose to show off their asshole tendencies by being extremely irresponsible with their rides.
• Daytime TV and the lowbrow commercials that air during them. Speaking of which, have you seen this "Starting Over" show?? My God, that is a brilliant piece of marketing work. By which I mean, they have really nailed their demographic: middle-aged housewives and unemployable pregnant high school dropouts whose only thoughts are of themselves. Bullet point #1 from the network suits was to make sure to fill the national ad slots with commercials for baby products and snack foods that are easily eaten while sitting on your ass, and then the local stations fill their ad time with spots for various "colleges" offering programs in data entry and massage technique. Then you get to sit through the actual program which features women that are on the show because they exemplify said demographic and listen to their sob stories. "Boo hoo, life is hard." Yes it is. And you know what? DEAL WITH IT. I put my pen on the same dotted line as the rest of you cats did, and my life contract said nothing about it being easy. So shut the hell up and move on.
• The inundation of "Friends" crap. What, is the show ending? Good riddance.
• 93X and everything it stands for. Remy Maxwell, EAT A DICK. I am so sick of hearing you ramble about how Metallica is so awesome and how great the new single from [insert pussified 'rock' band here] is. And get this through your thick skull: Alice in Chains is NOT an influential band at all, let alone one of the most influential of the 1990's.
• Isn't it just about time that all this NASCAR shit blew over? Why in the hell is this even popular in the first place? "Ooh, I better take Sunday off from the tire store so I can sit on my ass and WATCH FUCKING CARS DRIVE AROUND." Seriously! Why? And these cats that walk around wearing their officially licensed pit crew jackets that probably deprived their many illegitimate toddlers of their formula, you guys seriously need to rethink that. When you see some cat wearing a nylon coat promoting Mr. Goodwrench and an adjustable black hat with flames in it, it's a sure bet that he's heading out later to pick up a carton of smokes and a case of PBR, and then settling in for a long night of beating the girlfriend.
• Speaking of nylon coats... BURN THEM ALL. The days of the husband-and-wife duo sporting matching purple towing company jackets should be long gone. In fact, these went out with the mullet and the ducktail, which I regrettably sported as recently as 1991.
• While we're at it, let's fence off the state of Wisconsin. It'll keep the riffraff out.
• iPod pretenders. I'm talking about the Nomad Jukebox, RCA's weak-ass Lyra, Dell's POS and the Rio Karma. By the way, did anyone else notice that Rio came out with a small sticklike MP3 player and named it the "Chiba"? I'm waiting for the Ganja to be released. Or they could be unpretentions and just call the next one the "Cannibus" or "Marijuana". Rio Marijuana. That, as Tommy Chong would say, is some bad-ass weed.

That pretty much sums 'er up. I'm sick of being pissed off tonight.

Labels: GOTW

Now playing on iTunes: Iffy "Double Dutch"

Still playing (and frustrated) with the format of this damn thing. I switched the primary font to Franklin Gothic, and it appears that isn't a standard font on pre-XP computers. But you know what? If you don't have the font fuck y'all. Or just like, deal with the default one.

I'm also tooling around with Dreamweaver, a program that sucks if you don't know how to use it, and one that would benefit from the patience I lack. Sorry guys.

The big 25th anniversary shindig for my parents is right around the corner. It was pretty sloppily prerared as we just decided right before Easter to throw it, but it's getting done. The house is getting clean and Heather's been doing the running around making sure everything is straight with the food and the guests and everything like that. So hopefully it'll go well. We'll see I guess..

Labels: personal, site

Now playing on iTunes: Seal "Don't Cry"

This song serves as a good reminder for the folks in this news story:
Kournikova Sued by Parents Over Home

I love it when people are so unabashedly irrational you can only shake their heads at them. Oh, and another thing.. why is this news? Ehren's crystal ball prediction: KARE-11 will lead with this at 10:00 and the Pioneer Press will slap 'er on page A1, right under the story of women persevering from whatever they persevere from these days. However, here's an ACTUAL news item: Worker loses job after photographing soldiers' coffins Peep THAT article out, my husky, internet-traveling friends. And in case you're just too lazy to you know, read it, here's the gist: A woman (yeah, they seem to be cropping up everywhere) snaps a photo of several flag-draped coffins on a US military cargo plane while at her job, and with nothing but good intentions in her heart, develops it and fires it off to the Seattle Times which gives it a prominent place on their Sunday front page along with a news item about the Iraq conflict and a feature about her and her job. She then gets the ol' pink slip by the government for providing sensitive information to civilians. And as always, there are two distinct sides to this story. In defense of tami Silico, her act was one of kindness and compassion. She simply wanted to show the families of deceased soldiers that they were well taken care of. Then of course, there's that other side, the one that insists that the photo jeopardizes the most remote chance of the Iraq mission being successful, and thusly putting anti-war spin on it. News flash: At least two thirds of this country is anti-war. End of rant.

Labels: media

Now playing on the iPod: Wayne "Whisper"

Random thought: I was doing my weekly XML upload to MusicMobs.com (if you ues iTunes and/or an iPod I highly recommend signing up) last night and I found out that I'm actually NOT the only person to ever hear of Wayne. Wheeee! That's pretty cool. I've pretty much dedicated my life, or at least the next 19 seconds of it, to extolling the virtues of this Birmingham band.

Labels: ipod, music

Now playing on iTunes: some crap by Huey Lewis.

I'm still playing with the blog layout. One day I'll get it. For right now though, it still kinda sucks. Sorry about that!

So the Twins won again. It's scary that they can get away with pulling out these victories, especially with Torii, Mauer, Mientkiewicz and LeCroy hurt. Lew Ford has proven he belongs on the big club while filling in for Hunter in center, and Henry Blanco is certainly a surprise behind the plate. Who would have thought that a veteran catcher making the major league minimum and carrying a lifetime batting average lower than Jessica Simpson's IQ could be the guy we look to for clutch homers? But stranger, more frightening things have happened in history. Just look at New Coke.

Labels: site, twins

Now playing on iTunes: John Mayer "Why Georgia"

I am driving down 85 in the kind of morning that lasts all afternoon, just stuck inside the gloom.

Well, not really.

Now playing on iTunes: stellastarr* "My Coco"

Well if you're one of the 2 readers who frequent this, you'll notice the absence of the gray backdrop and in its place a drab Blogger.com default scheme. Reason being, I gave in to popular (among people I know anyway) opinion and downloaded Mozilla Firefox for my web browsing needs. Upon doing so, I found that my blog page wouldn't load correctly, so I vainly spent an hour or so looking for a new skin that was pleasing to look at. I suppose next time I just need to get off my ass and learn how to code CSS.

Firefox isn't the only new thing for me; yesterday I started sporting the Kyocera SE47 slider phone. Sweet. It's a pretty nice little phone, it doesn't take up a lot of room in my pocket and it's loud as hizell unlike the LG I had for about a year. So that's cool. Yay for materialism.

On other fronts: Failure Sports One is still holding out and not making themselves available to cable or satellite outlets. Oh, and I'm still making better onscreen graphics than they ever will [yet another example]. So eat my ass, Pohlad. I get my Twins info from ESPN.com or Yahoo, my baseball-on-TV fix from Extra Innings, and a good dose of Herb and Gordon curtesy of WCCO. Hah, looks like you LOSE, motherfucker! Wait, that makes no sense...

Oh and by the way, I was lying the other night about putting up a new post after finishing my homework.

Labels: site, tech, twins

Now playing on iTunes: Howie Day "Perfect Time of Day"

Once again, a while since I last posted. Fun.

So what the hell was I doing last week?? Inventory and school, foolios. Lots of time invested in those. Not much time for sleepy. The kicker: no sleep on Saturday night. Actually, I got about an hour, but the fact that we lost an hour kinda negates that. Oh well. I did get my homework done so that's golden.

I just caught one of possibly only 33 Twins games I will get to see this year. Things that looked good: Joesph P. Mauer, the new FieldTurf, Joe Nathan. Things that didn't: Radke (no surprise there), Jacque Jones, Guzman/Rivas, the Failure Sports One onscreen presence. I could do better. Actually, I DID do better [example]. Eat my ass, Failure! It looked SO horrible. There are no possible words to explain how much like ass Failure's graphics looked. Actually on second thought, maybe they were designed by Austin. It totally intruded on my experience of the game, almost as much as Radke serving up gopher balls right and left. What a bitch!

I picked up some new DVD's today. Good thing too, because I'm down to like 4 in my current collection that I haven't watched yet. (Identity, Sum of All Fears, Radio, Pi). But I picked up Donnie Darko, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, and um, A Walk To Remember. don't ask me why.

That's all I got for tonight. So long, kids.

Labels: ipod, media, personal, twins