lately I've routinely been getting around 4 hours of sleep, regardless of when I actually went to bed. last night was no exception, and it led to an odd dream without an ending......

basically how it all went down in this dream is, I was at church sometime in the fall, and as usual, I'm reuniting with my friends who are home on their Thanksgiving break, like Brett, Alex, etc. then after church ended, I looked over at the side pews, and there was Leigh, just sitting there, like she was waiting for me to come up and talk to her. so of course I did, and we talked for quite awhile in the pew, catching up and just generally chitchatting. then I started to get really warm so I put on my coat to go outside even though it was drizzling, and I told her I was stepping outside for a short walk. she them grabbed me by my hand and said, "Wait for me...." and that's when I woke up, at shortly after 4a, desperately hoping to get back to sleep so I could resume my dream and see where it was leading. of course that never happened, and I was left feeling even sadder and lonelier than I had felt all that week.

I just wish that, once, something like that would happen someplace else besides my dreams.

so much wasted in the afternoon
so much sacred in the month of June
how 'bout you?
oh da dada da dada...
and I will wait to find if this will last forever
and I will wait to find that it won't and it won't
and I will pay no mind worryim' 'bout no rainy weather
and I will waste no time remaining in our lives together

Now playing on iPod: Alanis Bitchisette; Hands Clean

Guess what? I live in a swing state. Guess what else? I was fucking sick of political spin and mudslinging on Campaign '04 as of March. The absolute worst offender in the race for the Presidential equivalent of coming into the game after Aaron Fultz has already given up 15 runs: the political blog. I'm so sick of these things, mostly because of the veritable wealth of 'news' stories on the internet with questionable sources (or a total lack thereof) that it's possible for your average Joe One-ball to spin his blog in any direction he wants, and if you disagree with them for even one second, you're in a world of hurt. (Usually though, it's an uber-liberal's idea of 'hurt' which includes stealing his latte' and insulting his furniture.) Anyhoo, what's the point of the political blog? Most of us have made our minds up long ago of who we want to vote for, so please shut up. You aren't helping things.

/rant

Now playing on iTunes: Tori Amos; Strange

best spam ever? you decide...

Hey Bro,

While we were out last night, Mark dared me to try this blue pill. I figured
what the hell, you can't back down from a dare. So, I met Christie. Needless
to say, that pill paid off. She called me 4 times this morning to say thanks
and to ask when we could see each other again.

[link removed]

change_status:click.kjrtieks.com/dt/t/572/ or direct mail to:Customer
Service,P0 Box 39O52O, MountainView, CA 94O4l

Maplewood Mall sure does! That's not entirely accurate... actually, they are still firmly grounded in the 80's. Neon up the ass, beige/earth tones, quasi-industrial see-through ceiling fixtures, mirrored EVERYTHING... it's about 6 years away from being retro.

Go check it out.

I'm listening to Josh Kelley but that's not even important right now.

What is important is this:



it all started around 5p yesterday when I noticed I wasn't getting new email messages. I found that odd, so I tried to perform some test messages. sure enough, NOTHING made it through. so I authored some emails and sent them out to some of my other email accounts. I got those fine, which struck me as REALLY odd. I was a little miffed, so I hit the sack in hopes of a better tomorrow. Alas, it was not to be....

I woke up this morning with a bright smile on my face. Actually, that isn't true. When I smile I look like a faggot so I generally frown whenever I can. Good times. Anyhoo, I decided after my media class that it was time to check my email. Y'know those songs Strong Bad sings at the beginning of his emails? Like, "Emailemailemailemailemail EMAIL!!!!" Yeah, I silently sang one of those. Only thing is, I DIDN"T GET ANY FUCKING EMAILS. Not even spam!! I thought I'd praise the good Lord Jebus when that happened. Instead I'm cursing a faceless corporation. Did I try to get help from them? Oh, you bet your sweet ass I did. I navigated their helpless FAQ pages for a good 15 minutes before I found a feedback form. While I filled it out I was reassured by the promise of "prompt attention". Mind you, this is at 10a. I shot it off, and whispered to myself that everything was going to be alright. But it was not to be...

At 2p I had not gotten Word 1 from Deathstar Yahoo! so I poked around some more, found the feedback form once again, and sent off another form, and this time in the 'detailed comments' field I wrote up a slightly blistering yet polite description of my problem, and the humble request that they honor their "prompt attention" promise. But it was not to be...

I got home from the salt mines with a bright smile on my face. Actually, that's not true either; at 10p I look like a faggot no matter my facial expression, so I was still sporting my trademark scowl. I hopped on the ol' compy to check the Cards/Astros boxscore then on to My Fucking Yahoo! to see if the email problem had been rectified. Well, surprise of surprises, it hadn't. So, once again, I navigated to the feedback form, scoffed at the hollow promise of response,p prompt or not (oh, I forgot to mention that they hadn't even acknowledged they got my requests for help), and proceeded to write this:

this is the 3rd time I have sent in a feedback form and and haven't received any sort of response from you. I have not been able to receive email for over 24 hours now, even though I can send mail to other addresses. it's frustrating because not only is it the only email address many people have for me, it's also the address in which I do billing and banking, and I also pay a fee to have my own domain affixed to my email. I have tried sending test messages to my address from several accounts, as well as other friends, and none get through, and yes I've checked my junk folder. this situation needs to be rectified now. I was promised a prompt response, not none at all, so I'd like to see you come through and help me to fix this problem.

So, Dear Reader, did that yield a reponse? Well yes and no. If by "response" you mean "robotic automated FAQ" then yes I got one:

From: Yahoo! Mail
Reply-To: Yahoo! Mail
To:

Hello,

Thank you for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

This is an automated message that has been sent to you based on the topic you selected from our feedback form. If your answer is not included in this email, please reply with a detailed description of the issue and your request will be reviewed by a Customer Care representative. Very few messages are simply lost in transit. Please make sure that the sender has actually sent the message and is able to send messages successfully to other users. If you still have not received the message, a number of things may have happened:

1. The message arrived for you after you signed in. When you sign in to your Yahoo! Mail account, you are shown a "snapshot" of your account at that moment. If you spend a long period of time either composing or reading a message, then you will not be able to see any new messages that arrived in your account during that time. Only when you load a new snapshot of your Inbox by clicking the "Check Mail" link, clicking the "Reload/Refresh" button on your your browser, or returning to the Welcome screen, will you be alerted to the presence of new messages (Please note that Yahoo! Messenger and News Ticker will alert you of new messages at all times).

2. If you have set up filters, your messages may be arriving in a folder other than your Inbox. To view your filters, click the "Mail Options" link on the top right-hand navigation bar, then click "Filters".

3. The message was not addressed properly. The sender may not have your correct email address or may have accidentally entered an incorrect email address. If you are an international Yahoo! Mail user, the sender may have used the standard "yahoo.com" domain instead of your appropriate address (i.e., "yahoo.co.uk" or "yahoo.fr"). If the address entered was a valid one (belonging to someone), the message intended for you may have been received by someone else. If the address entered was invalid (not owned by anyone), the message should have bounced back to >the sender with an error message. In particular, make sure the sender hasn't addressed the message to an alias of yours that is not your email address. Your Yahoo! Mail account has only one email address, which you chose when you registered, and sending to any other alias on your account (if you have any) will cause the mail to bounce.

4. Check to see if you have set your mail to be forwarded to another email address. To check this, click the "Mail Options" link in the top right-hand navigation bar, then click the "POP Access & Forwarding" link on the Options page. If you are using Auto-Forwarding and you would like to discontinue it, click the radio button for "Web and POP Access", then click "Submit." You can then click the "Back to Options" button to return to the Yahoo! Mail Options page.

5. It is possible (though perhaps unlikely) that the sender's address is on your Blocked Addresses list. The Blocked Addresses feature in Yahoo! Mail allows you to create a list of addresses that you do not want to receive mail from. Mail coming in from one of these senders will neither arrive nor bounce, but will simply be discarded. You can check your Blocked Addresses list by clicking "Mail Options", then "Blocked Addresses".

6. The message was delayed. Most messages are delivered within a few minutes, but messages can sometimes be delayed while in transit due to problems on the sender's mail server, heavy Internet traffic, or routing problems. On rare occasions, delays can last for several hours or more. If you eventually receive the message and would like to know where it was delayed, you can read the full headers of the message to find out.
To configure full headers for a single message, please do the following:
* Open the message you would like to view the headers for.
* Click on the "Full Headers" link, located on the top right-hand side of the message window.
* Your message will then appear with full headers.
Please note: This option will only apply towards the message you have selected to view full headers for. Your selection will not be saved for all messages.
To configure full headers for all messages, do the following:
* Click on the "Mail Options" link, located near the top right-hand >side of the page.
* Click the "General Preferences" link.
* Locate the "Show Headers" heading and select either "Brief" or "All".
* Click the "Save" button to put your new settings into effect.
The top of the message will show expanded headers, including several "Received:" lines, indicating the different machines through which the message passed. Each "Received:" line has a time, and comparing these times will allow you to identify where along the way the message was held up (you may have to correct for time zone changes in doing this).

7. Your account is over the allowed quota. If so, any messages sent to your account will bounce back to the sender with an error message stating, "User is over quota". You will have to delete messages in your account in order to make room for new ones. Yahoo! Mail users now have the option to increase the size of their Yahoo! mailbox. For only $19.99 a year, you can upgrade to a 2gig Yahoo! Mail Plus account. To purchase this service, simply click on "Mail Upgrades" in Yahoo! Mail, then click on "Yahoo! Mail Plus". If you don't have a Yahoo! Wallet, you'll be prompted to set one up.

8. If messages sent to your account are bouncing back with an error >message other than "User is over quota", please forward us a copy of the bounce message so that we can investigate further.

9. Occasionally, interruptions or disruptions in email transmissions over the Internet will render a message undeliverable. While this is very rare, it does happen. Unfortunately, aside from waiting, there is no way to know for certain whether a message has been delayed or whether it has been rendered undeliverable.

In any case, the best solution is to request that the sender send the message again.

Thank you again for contacting Yahoo! Customer Care.

Regards,

Yahoo! Customer Care

Visit our online help pages at:
http://help.yahoo.com/help/us/mail/

Vote for the stars of Yahoo!'s next ad campaign
http://myengine.yahoo.com

Thanks a lot, you fucks. This message could have been summed up with this paraphrase: "Thanks for wasting time filling out specifics of your problems. Obviously you're too stupid to read our FAQ's so here they are. And by the way, while your shit doesn't work, why not try some of the other shitty services we're pimping?" Well that got me mad. Nobody is allowed to talk down to me. Especially some fucking smart-ass bot. Naturally I replied:

it's plainly obvious that I won't be able to get an actual human to read this, but just in case I'm going to respond to all the questions the ARS sent me:

1) I have checked my email several times an hour since I discovered yesterday at 5p central time that I wasn't receiving emails. each time I have clicked 'update' in My Yahoo and 'refresh' in my browser. I have also checked my email on 5 unique computers on 3 unique ISP's. since then, not only have I stopped getting emails at admin@ehrenstemme.com, but also at my primary address, aero_fan_98@hotmail.com.

2) I have very liberal filters that allow just about anything to enter my inbox. however, some spam still gets trapped in there. the funny thing is, since the last time I got an actual email I haven't gotten one piece of spam either, which is remarkable since I see at least 10-15 spam mails a day.

3) message addressing is mot a problem. I moderate a message board which sends me dozens of automated emails a day on threads that require my attention. not once after 5p yesterday have I gotten one piece from that automated mail system. not only that, but test messages I sent myself from entries in my address book did not make it in my inbox.

4) email address forwarding was never enabled because i check my email exclusively in a web browser environment. just in case, i checked the setting, and it was still in default mode.

5) there only 6 addresses in my blocked address list, hardly enough to encompass the entire internet. next...

6) all messages have been delayed for a day? sorry, don't buy it.

7) I have a 100mb limit. approximately 2.8 percent of my limit is used.

8) if I could actually GET messages, maybe I could send you a bounce message. IF that's even the problem, whit it most likely didn't, because none of the emails I sent to my addresses got bounced back.

9) since "interruptions or disruptions in email transmissions" are extremely rare, is it unreasonable that not receiving at least 50 messages constitutes as a major anomaly? further, how do you propose that I ask the sender to resend the message if I don't know they sent me one and they have no way to know that I didn't receive it?

if you have an 800 number I can call to talk to an actual person I'd greatly like to have it, because to wait 12-14 hours for an automated FAQ is absolutely ridiculous.

thanks for your "prompt" attention,

ES

so if you're still with me, that is how far this saga has taken me. I may or may not post on the subject later, depending on how bloody my head is from banging it against my desk....

Labels: bestof

as Steve would say, "Them's jokes."

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic, "It died."
After he works on it for a few minutes, it's idling smoothly. She says: "What's
the story?" He replies: "Just crap in the carburetor." She says: "How often do I
have to do that?"

oh, believe me, there's more coming later

Now playing on iPod: Pat McGee; Must Have Been Love

as all 3 of my loyal readers can attest, ES.blog had a modest redesign about 3 weeks ago, recycling an old image* in the process. Now in version 6.0, it doesn't look a hell of a lot better. Sorry.

Also, in addition to my phone abilities being crippled, due to an incident with the washing machine, it appears my email doesn't work. Classic. I love not being able to communicate.

*this image is fuckin' huge. sorry.

Now playing on iTunes: Mayer; Only Heart (the live stuff.)

when the Twins released the Homer Hanky way back in 1987, I doubt they'd envisioned the phenomenon that would ensue. Had they, they probably wouldn't have done it. In 2003 the Hanky had reached such iconic status (unlike its bastard half-brother the Touchdown Towel) that there was public outrage when they shifted from the standard red printing to a new blue design with block lettering. So they returned to the more traditional design for version 2004 and as it turned out, there were knockoffs being peddled for as much as $10 (compared to the paltry dollar the official ones at the ballpark run). The Twins put the kibosh on that, but were more than happy to let MLB.com sell them for the princely sum of $12.99. And you don't even get free shipping... what a bunch of bitches. The amazing thing to me though, is they're still outselling ANYTHING in the MLB.com shop. One other Hanky note, the copyright on the bottom of Version 2004 says "Copyright 1987, 1991, 2002, 2003, 2004 Star Tribune." Hmm, seems they forgot about the 1988 reappearance for the start of the season. Which is shocking, since they went out of the way to protect the other 5 designs. But the fans like me haven't forgotten, so as a big "fuck you" to the uber-liberal Strib, here is the Homer Hanky, v2.0:



OUT.

Labels: twins

STOP SENDING ME TEXT MESSAGES, PEOPLE.

I can't read them.

according to humanforsale.com I'm worth approximately $2,163,080.00. so uh, step up with my funds, bitches.

Now playing on iTunes: Nokomis Court; Hierarchus

so, it looks like the Twin Cities has an Autumn of Awesoming in store for it, music-wise. and I fully intend to be there, but some of you cats have to help me by like, going with me. here is a current list of shows that awesome:

Interpol; the Quest; Tues the 19th. 18+
Vanessa Carlton; the Fine Line; Thurs the 21st. 18+
Rhett Miller and the Old 97's; First Ave.; Fri. the 22nd. 21+
Cake; First Ave.; Sat the 23rd. 21+
Wilco; the Orpheum; Mon-Tue the 25-26th.
Ben Kweller; the Quest; Sat the 30th.
Pat McGee/Better than Ezra; the Fine Line; Sat Nov 13th. 21+ (sorry, Eliz)

so let's get this done. NOW.

popups make me cry.

trophy wife of the Palisades, whose yearbook beauty never fades
sits and watches the sea fold in and wonders what might've been
if she could ever have her chance, would she do it all again?

it's funny how life turns out, the odds of faith in the face of doubt
camera one closes in, the lights go down, the scene begins...

you're playing you now....

now playing on iPod: Jonathan Grove; Troubadour

who doesn't love the iPod? I stumbled across a program today called Palm2iPod that allows you to import all your shit from the Palm Desktop software into your iPod. So now I don't even need my Palm Pilot! if anyone wants to buy a slightly used Palm Tungsten E handheld let me know. in other iPod news we got the Alpine-to-iPod adapter working at the Ultimate yesterday, and the only word to describe it is tits. when you plug the iPod in the Alpine logo appears on the iPod screen and, unlike the BMW iPod solution, you can actually have full functionality of the iPod and its myriad play lists instead of being able to only access 6. and at only $100, it's a killer add-on.

so apparently Sam Cassell doesn't think he's being paid enough. he skipped out on the Wolves' annual media day and the first day of shootarounds mainly because he is a total bitch. what I love the most in the article is how Spreewell is about the bling too, and while GM Kevin McHale refused to speculate re: Smilin' Sam, he happily reported that negotiations with Spree were going well. Take THAT, Bionic Sam!

have you ever wondered about these fools that "support our troops"? this seems like a pretty common outcry now. "We support our troops!" Never mind that just about EVERYBODY does. I mean, not everybody thinks our presence in Iraq is a good, or even passable, idea, but I don't think too many people don't stand behind our boys. you don't see many people opposing our troops, do you?

and finally, the Twins lost a heartbreaker last night to the Evil Empire. and it was Gardy's fault, for leaving Joe Nathan out to dry in the 12th after he had already pitched two. though both the Twins and the Yankees had multiple chances to put this game away, no one did until Miguel Cairo and Jeter received free passes in the last of the inning. an absolutely brutal loss, but it shows New Yorkers that the Twins shouldn't just be tossed off as a flake opponent, but one that needs to be taken seriously.

let's get 'em next time, guys. and hell of a job, Joey.

Now playing on iTunes: Pat McGee; Runaway

a haiku describing the events of the evening:

Johan is a stud
Sierra's homerun was false
the Twins win Game 1

way to go boys.

next up: Brad "No-Decision" Radke vs. the quite imitable Jon Lieber, 7:10p Weds.

Labels: twins

JOHANJOHANJOHANJOHAN

Labels: twins