is a search engine.

I am able to track users that come to my site, and Google searches that lead to my website for some reason or another. the most humorous statistic collected has proven to be the search string that gets my site to show up in Google searches. so, in the spirit of humor, I'm gonna share some with you today! Prepare to be slightly amused.

for Linkland
batgirl twins
his cheeseburger mp3
Andy Bugay

for 'Britney in Hawaii'
jubblies pics

for the old GOTW!™
victoria's secret exaggeration lengthening mascara review
olson middle school sk8 club in mn
swimmer's itch tubtubs hot
marshall balla gay porn
wet teen sluts

for AIMadness
aol brb lol song
broke up and 11111

for my unfinished population rant
pimped out ford tempo

for my review of John Mayer's 'Heavier Things'
bittersweet lyrics from the dave matthews band

for the Joe Smiley biography
ceiling fan accident

for various blogposts
gatorade bad
dunp blog (? help me out on this. kthx)
dawson's creek purity test
john mayer lj color bars
why is myspace stupid
interpol jay leno
mexicanfood girls
dr phil xanga
simpsons i like zoos
1980s mullet significance

Keep those wacky searches coming, guys.

now playing on iTunes/iPod: Ben Folds Five 'Sports and Wine'

Labels: internet

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE

Name: Ehren A. Stemme.
Birth date: 2.20.1980
Birth place: St Paul MN
Current Location: same
Hair Color: blonde
Righty or Lefty: righty.

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE

Your heritage: Norweigen, Swedish, English, mostly Irish
Shoes you wore today: the adidas
Your weakness: not sure. enlighten me
Your fears: dying alone
Your perfect pizza: sausage, Canadian bacon, maybe hamburger.
Goal you'd like to achieve: graduate from college.

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

Your most overused phrase: 'it happens'
Your thoughts first waking up: 'what time is it?'
Your bedtime: anytime between midnight and 3a, depending on when I have to be up the next morning
Your most missed memory: zuh?

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK

Pepsi or Coke: coke
McDonald's or Burger King: the mac, if I must choose
Adidas or Nike: Adidas
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: nope!
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Smoke: hardly ever.
Cuss: a lot at work, then hardly at all
Single: Yes
Take a shower: of course
Have a crush(es): it depends.
Think you've been in love: yes
Want to get married: eventually.
Believe in yourself: it depends
Get motion sickness: no...
Think you're attractive: hah, definitely not.
Get along with your parents: for the most part
Like thunderstorms: when they aren't scary huge and hitting the trees around my house

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH

Drank alcohol: just last night
Gone on a date: not from a lack of trying
Gone to the mall: always
been on stage: nope
eaten an entire box of Oreos: by myself? my god no, too many oreos make me sick
Eaten sushi: nope!
Been dumped: not quite
Gone skating: no
Gone skinny dipping: never.
Stolen anything: not from a lack of trying

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER

Played a game that required removal of clothing: a couple times
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: a few times.
Been caught "doing something": almost.
Been called a tease: nope
Gotten beaten up: once.

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER ( :| )

Age you hope to be married: not sure. ideally, 30. but that won't happen
Number of Children: not sure, at least two
Describe your dream wedding: I have never once thought about a possible wedding
How do you want to die: quickly and painlessly, while happy
What do you want to be when you grow up: a monkey!
What country would you most like to visit: Austria, England or Japan

LAYER NINE: IN A GAL/GUY

Best eye color?: doesn't matter
Best hair color?: brunette! totally.
Short or long hair: anything as long as it's not longer than mine
Height: no taller than 5'10''
Best first date location: somewhere quiet and unique.
first kiss location: anywhere alone
my "fantasy places": uh?

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS

Number of people I could trust with my life: not sure there's anyone outside my family that qualifies
Number of CD's I own: probably close to 500 by now
Number of piercings: zilch
Number of tattoos: none
Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper?: a couple times. all for good things, I swear
Number of scars on my body: no clue

Labels: web2.0

from healthday.com:

FRIDAY, May 20 (HealthDay News) -- Popular teens may be more well-adjusted than those less popular, but they may also be more likely to use drugs and to engage in deviant behavior such as vandalism and shoplifting.

Yet another groundbreaking story from the pages of the medical journal "DUH".

Labels: internet

bored, again. fill this out for guaranteed goodtimes

X the ones you have done:

(x) I have been drunk
(x) I have kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) I have kissed a member of the same sex
( ) I crashed a friend's car
( ) I have been to Japan
(x) I rode in a taxi
(x) I have been in love
( ) I've had sex
( ) I've had sexual relations in public
(x) I've shoplifted
( ) I have been fired
( ) I have cut myself on purpose
( ) I have smoked pot
( ) I still smoke pot
( ) I've had a 3-some
(x) I've snuck out of my parent's house
( ) I have been tied up. (yes...in THAT way)
(x) I pissed on myself
( ) I have been arrested
( ) I've made out with a stranger
( ) I've stolen something from my job
( ) I've celebrated New Year's in Time Square
(x) I've gone on a blind date
(x) I've lied to a friend
(x) I've had a crush on a teacher
( ) I've celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
( ) I have been to Europe
(x) I've skipped school
( ) I have thrown up in a bar
( ) I have purposely set myself on fire
(x) I have eaten sushi
( ) I have been snowboarding
( ) I have been happy with myself
(x) I have met a movie star
( ) I had sex in a pool
( ) I went to a dance with someone of the same sex
( ) I've bungee jumped
(x) I have been to a pop concert
( ) I have dated someone for over a year
( ) I sold naked pictures of myself
(x) I have been in a car accident
(x) I have slept in the nude
(x) I've eaten cheesecake
( ) I've had jury duty
(x) I've hated someone without knowing them
( ) I have given oral sex
( ) I have recieved oral sex
(x) I've shot a real gun
( ) I've ran around with my trousers around my ankles
( ) I've had sex with someone within a week of meeting them
( ) I've done ecstasy
(x) I've gotten my ass kicked
( ) I've been caught smoking
(x) I've worn boxers
( ) I've milked a cow
(x) I've got in a verbal fight with a teacher
( ) I've cheated on someone
( ) had sex with a best friend
( ) Lied one time in this survey
( ) Lied more then once in this survey.
(x) Lied to a friend you see everyday
( ) Kissed a person that has a g/f or b/f
( ) Used ice cubes as a foreplay accessory
(x) Wasted time filling this out instead of doing something productive
( ) Have nude pics of yourself on your computer
( ) Walked across 8 lanes of interstate highway
(x) Have been to camp
(x) Have read a book(s) more than one time
( ) Have eaten cat food
(x) Have been pulled over by a cop
( ) Own porn
( ) Am a Republican
(x) Likes classic movies
( ) Own a kitty
( ) Carried a lunchbox in high school
(x) Buy gumballs to watch them swirl in the machine
( ) Likes to be dominated
(x) Likes to drive with the windows down and the music turned up
( ) Eats PB &J for breakfast because there's nothing else

now playing on iTunes: Lifehouse 'Hanging by a Moment'

Labels: web2.0

God bless you and your eclectic taste, Amazon!



now playing on iTunes: Mayer 'Love Soon'

Labels: internet

y'know, you refuse to believe that the population is 90% moron, but then you go to the ballpark and watch people sit on their fat asses, cackling at ridiculous shit like the 'alien head cam'.

God bless America.

now playing on iTunes: DAVE MATTHEWS BAAAAAAAAANNNDD 'The Space Between'

the new commercial in which the Burger King and Darth Vader meet face to face?

CREEPY.

now playing on iTunes: Five for Fighting '100 Years'

sometimes I wonder if I haven't just become just a big drag on my employers, fanily and friends. lately, it's really seemed that way. I'm pretty sure the people at Ultimate are deathly sick of me, and just want me to quit so they won't have to be put to the hassle of firing me. my family... it's not really a secret that my family members merely tolerate me and have no real, genuine interest in what I do or say, and it seems like I've asked so much of my friends that they'd rather avoid me than face another day in which I awkwardly make conversation and try to maintain the facade that everything is peachy.

I really don't mean to be so dependent. it just happens that way sometimes.

I worry about the future a lot. what happens if I'm still in this rut when I'm 30, still working to get through college, whiling away my free time sleeping and slaving at a job I no longer enjoy, leeching off other people for food, shelter and transportation? people already resent that I do this. but at this point there is no other real option. I can't make enough money to be on my own, whether or not I'm in school.

I worry about what happens after I graduate. will I be able to find a job that will allow me to eat while I pay off my already mounting student loans? I just want to have a decent life. I don't want anything overly complicated or extravagant; I just want a place to put my feet up when I get home from work, enough food to not starve, and people I can spend time with so I'm not isolated from the outside world. most of my friends from high school have gone their own ways, I'm not able to get to know many people on my campus, and I've pretty much abandoned the idea that I will be able to find a woman who wants to spend time with me, much less marry me or raise a family of our own.

I know I'm selfish for wanting these things. I haven't done anything to deserve them. at this point though, the wanting is the only thing that keeps me going. I don't really have anything else.

waiting for a load of laundry, so I gaffled this from myspace and filled it out. lucky you!

Known as: Ehren, Stemme, Dogg Pound Gangsta, DPG
Lives in: my house. yay!
Birthday: 2.20.1980
Shoe size: 13
Hair color: red/blonde. mostly blonde.
Eye color: blue

* section 2 - have you ever... *

Cheated on someone?: no
Been Cheated on?: unfortunately
Fallen off the bed?: yeah
Broken someones heart?: not that I'm aware of.
Had your heart broken?: mmhmm
Had a dream come true?: I woke up today. So no.
Done something you regret?: everyone has

* section 3 - currently *

Wearing: jeans, white tshirt, work shirt
Listening to?: commercial break during the Twins game
Located?: the PAUL
Chatting with? Patrick
Watching?: Twins game. pay attention.
Should REALLY be doing?: cleaning. or sleeping. one of the two

* section 4 - do you... *

Brush your teeth? of course
Have any piercings?: nope
Drive?: sortof
Drink?: yeah
Smoke?: nope

* section 5 - the last person you... *

Hugged?: Ashley.
Kissed?: waaay too long ago to remember
IMed?: Bugay, probably
Talked to on the phone?: da sis
Yelled at? Aamodt

* section 6 - personal *

What do you want to be when you grow up? something
What has been the best day of your life?: not sure
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush?: three no's, beeotch
What are you most scared of?: stuff, and things
Did you lose someone you really loved?: at one point
How many times have you fallen in love? once
Love your friends?: you know it

* section 7 - favorite at the moment*

Movie: um... too hard
Store: the eagle
Relative: AUSTIN
Sport: baseball
Ice Cream Flavor: chocolate......!
Fruit: banana
Candy: Reese's white chocolate peanut butter cups
Day of the Week: Sunday
Color: blue
Name for a Girl: Amanda, Madison, Cassandra
Name for a Boy:

* section 8 - do you *

Like to give hugs?: yes
Like to give kisses?: it's been a loooong time
Like to walk in the rain?: as long as I have an umbrella
Like to travel?: I'd like to travel eventually
Have a goldfish?: ye.. uh, no
Have stuffed animals?: I used to, back in the day

*section 9 - what do you think about... *

Suicide: sad
Smoking: cough
Eating disorders: you don't wanna know what I think.
Summer: boo-yeah

* section 10 - this or that *

Pierced nose or tongue?: no
MTV or BET?: *cough*
7th Heaven or Dawson's Creek?: don't make me choose one. seriously.
Sugar or salt?: sugar
Silver or gold?: silver
Chocolate or flowers?: flowers
Color or Black-and-white photos?: black and white
Stay up late or sleep: sleep
Hot or cold?: cold
Mustard or ketchup?: mustard
Wonder or amazement?: wonder
Mexican or Italian: Italian
pepsii or Coke?: Coke, natch

Labels: web2.0

so yeah, I apologize for the dearth of actual, real updates lately, but I've been a total lazyass (with the exception of the last week of classes and the 30 some hours at my job). so check it, here's what's going on in my world:

• my DVD player pooped out on me Wednesday night. yes, the silver Sony I've had for only 3 months. so I've not been too happy with that. coupled with the fact that the optical drives in my computer refuse to work, it results in me not watching any movies. and that's just tragic.
• I just finished one final, and I'll get the other one out of the way Thursday. after that, it's smooth sailin' until late August. my summer is officially wide open, ladiez. (hint, hint...)
• I've also been the good consumer of late, having bought about 10 new DVD's in the past week as well as patronizing my favorite clothing store. things = good.
• I've now been on the weights for 6 weeks. I've only noticed nominal differences, like being more rested and less asthmatic, and dropping five pounds off my frame. I also started a 'diet' of sorts on Tuesday. not really a diet though, because I have horrible eating habits and I do want to change them better for the long term. hopefully this will help expedite my goal of getting to a healthy weight.

well that does it. anything else you want to know, you can certainly try and get hold of me.

now playing on iPod: Wayne 'With Regards'

I hope you don't mind.

I cleaned up my left sidebar by moving all my feature pages into the archive. however, the big site subsectins like the grad book and the regrettable Aerosmith tribute stay. I also replaced the old forums link with a link to the truly awesome NDDN website. go check it out!

now playing on iPod: Mayer 'Clarity'

...in the halls. at the caf. sometimes as I leave for the day. today I ran into her at the bookstore. I looked her in the eye and she just turned away. she's imprinted in my mind. I see her when I close my eyes.

and I can't do a damn thing about it.

now playing on iPod: The Verve 'Bittersweet Symphony'

...well, here it is.

Now playing on iPod: Patty Griffin 'One Big Love'