this is my first post in awhile.

this might also be my last post in a very long time.

I'm not sure exactly why or how it happened, but it seems like everything in my life is falling apart at the same time. I'm not sure what I can do to stop it, but I do know it's becoming way too much to handle. I'm down to about 30 minutes of sleep at night because I just lay in bed and think. it's hard not to; if there was a way to just shut my brain off I'd have probably discovered it by now.

to my friends: I love and value you all. many, if not most, of you have been there for me in the past, and I wish that I could have been a better friend in return. to my family: I apologize for being a burden to you all over the past few years. again, I wish I could have been the person you all wanted and deserved.

thanks for reading. I love you all.

addendum to the below post: it's been like two hours. and I finally got a wallpaper on my phone! ringtones may be a lost cause though.

Labels: drunk

so I'm sufficiently drunk for the second night in a row. I should probably have that looked into. but for now, since I haven't updated in the longest and I'm in a state where I don't really care what I say, here are some bullet points for the day:

I finally got my RAZR V3c. 'twas about time, since the Samsung keeps taking periodic dunps on me. I love it except for the fact that Verizon decided to disable OBEX profiles for some inane reason, and I had to enter all my phonebook info in maually. this was a drag, which also led to...

unfortunate drunkdials that I already regret I called two people having a good time because my over-neediness and insecurity compelled me to call them and see if I could somehow join the good time. I also called a couple other random people, and left a rather incriminating voicemail at one number. hopefully, she'll just delete that one and forget that I ever called her.

I also experienced a downswing in traffic due to a preventable server outage. who knew that hosting bills needed to be paid periodically? well, I did, but I forgot to update my card info when I got my new checkcard. whoops! my bad... it's not like I've had anything of significance to post because I'm busy working on...

the OS X Browser War! yeah this asinine idea continues to eat up my time. I'm currently spending most of my time this week browsing teh internets with Camino, though this post was written in Firefox to ensure compatibility. hopefully by the end of the century, I'll have something meaningful to file in regards to my browser report.

THE TWINS ARE IN SEASON AGAIN yay for baseball! Torii Hunter homered on the first spring pitch he saw, and Lew Ford and Joe Mauer chipped in with their own solo shots to power the Twins into a 6-3 victory over the Beantowns. I know it's super early still, but hey, spring training rules the roost.

the last two things I'll mentions are: I know I've neglected the site, yet again, but I do promise to do better in the spring months, and the RAZR's megapixel camera should make it easier to post to the photoblog that hasn't been touched in eight months. also, I've been crushing on this one chick for a while, but I think it's pretty obvious to everyone that knows the situation that nothing is gonna happen. so I decided this afternoon that I'm gonna let it drop and move on. I've pretty much known that I should have done this like a month ago, but it's better late than never in my opinion.

see you in the morning, after I sober up!

now playing on iTunes: Stephen Kellogg 'My Sweet Charade'

Labels: drunk, mac, personal, site, twins