I first became aware of Coolvetica in 2004, being used as the titles for a travesty of a TV show called Wife Swap.  I tool a look at the odd lowercase 't' and thought to myself, "That looks awful."  Then that Godawful capital G popped up and I threw up in my mouth a little.  Who would do such things to Helvetica?  That's like giving Larry King another hunchback, or making every Russian wear one of those red forehead spots like Gorbachev.  Then it started popping up more and more, being used on signage at my local mall and on covers of books.  Horrified, I did a little Googling and found that the font in question was created by Ray Larabie, the same "genius" that created ripoff homage fonts designed to ape corporate logos, like Pricedown, Crackman and Crystal Radio Kit.  Look, Larabie, I gots enough problems with awful foundry-designed fonts appearing everywhere, like Arial and such.  And the less said about Comic Sans, the better.  There is, however, one thing that Larabie did that I like: he named one of his abominations Libel Suit.  Fitting, because I think Larabie should be hit with one for calling any of these trainwrecks "fonts."

And that, Coolvetica, is why I goddamn hate you.

Now playing on iPod: PMB "You and I"